Empowering Children to Be Seen and Heard!

When I was eight years old my father had a philosophy that children should be seen and NOT heard.  He would tell me time and time again that my opinions didn’t count and that my thoughts and feelings should be kept inside and not shared.

In December of 1980, my life changed forever.  I was sexually abused by a family friend.  I was told not to tell because my family would be mad at me.  So, I didn’t.  Not only did my perpetrator’s threat keep me from talking, but my father’s advice indirectly told me not to share.  So for eleven years I kept it a secret…an unsafe secret.

No one ever came to my school to tell me that what happened to me was wrong or to tell me it’s perfectly OK to say, “NO” to a potential abuser.  I felt that I was the only one who experienced this violation and for that I looked at myself as a weird and strange kid.

 Year after year I kept pushing it further and further away in my mind thinking it would just go away.  These traumas never go away, and it wasn’t until my freshman year in college when I said, “Enough is enough.”  I left college and my healing began.  Because of my abuse and my relationship with my father, I began my career in 1999 visiting schools inspiring children to create that confident voice.

Recently, I met a woman by name of Erin Merryn, a courageous young lady from Schaumburg, IL.  She decided that something needed to be done to educate children about keeping their bodies safe while giving them permission to speak up.  In 2013, Erin’s Law was passed in Illinois. (www.erinslaw.org)  She believes that if having fire drills and tornado drills is designed to keep children safe than why not have a program in place that helps keep children safe from unsafe touch.  If this type of education was available when I was in school my abuse may have been avoided, or, I would have had the courage to speak to a trusted adult and shorten my suffering.

In 2014, I decided to take my situation and literally go from VICTIM to VICTOR.  I created a program that fulfills the Erin’s Law mandate.  In fact, students are now coming forward and disclosing their stories of abuse.  It’s time to stop sweeping abuse under the carpet and start giving children a voice speak up so they can live a courageous and happy life.

THE BODY SAFETY PLAN  (Excerpt from Victor’s book, Be Seen and Heard)
The 4 RULES:

1. If anyone tries to touch you in a way that makes you feel strange or uncomfortable, say, NO! GO TELL someone you know.

2. If someone tells you that their touches are a secret, say, NO! GO TELL someone you know. Your VOICE is a powerful tool. Don’t be afraid to use it.

3. Don’t let the person tell you that you are a bad child if you don’t touch them or look at their private body parts. Say, NO! GO TELL someone you know.

4. If someone has touched your private body parts tell someone you trust. Keep telling them until they believe you.

Meet Victor at courses.victorpacini.com or www.victorpacini.com.

Victor Pacini is an author, motivational speaker,  and creator of live and online programs that help children increase self esteem while learning strategies for body safety.