Blooming Late: Tempering Fears About Unmotivated Teens

Parents and teachers sometimes become nervous when a teenage student fails to show much interest in school or in planning for the future. Fears emerge that an unambitious or unmotivated student will squander his or her potential, settling for a mediocre career path leading or careening towards skid row. Less dramatically but more practically, the concerned adults in the teenager’s life might fret about a possible psychological issue. Sometimes the fretting is warranted. Most of the time it isn’t. Teenagers are moody people. Not every moody teenager needs an intervention. Furthermore, that apparent lack of ambition or motivation doesn’t necessarily mean that teenager won’t go on to do something worthwhile, even if that something is only worthwhile at a highly personal level.

Expecting a seventeen or eighteen-year-old to know what to do with the next twenty or thirty years of life might be unrealistic. This was more practical when technology and society changed at a slower pace. Today, a high school student really can’t know what to expect out of the coming decades. Not only are these teenagers entering a less economically stable world than they would have a few decades earlier, the fields in which they might someday find their niche might not even exist yet. Despite this, some young people know (or think they know) what they want to do by the end of high school. Most don’t though.

For decades, the law has considered eighteen-year-olds to be adults. Many of them might be mature enough to make sound decisions by this age. The reality is that some people never quite reach that stage. Society has been compounding this issue and making it more of a reality for more people. Much is made of kids who appear to grow up too quickly. Actually, as a whole, the opposite is true. Because of the cost of college, the depressed job market, and an unending willingness of some parents to enable their children, young people are taking longer than ever to become independent. This accompanies and amplifies problems such a looming student debt crisis and a massive workforce that isn’t contributing as much as it could. This new paradigm of extended dependence aligns with and contributes to other new social phenomena.

Everything about our lives has been stretched in recent decades. Young people leave home later. They finish college later. They marry later (if they marry at all). They have kids later (likewise). Retirement keeps creeping upwards. Some pundits wonder for several reasons whether or not retirement will be a luxury today’s young people will ever know. Lifespans keep getting longer. For all the press about the poor health of Americans, we’re living longer and remaining active for much longer than previous generations had. All of this is relevant to that sullen teenager who doesn’t seem to care about the future.

More on the sullen teen momentarily. Other crucial paradigms have been changing. People routinely have several careers in a series rather than one long run of doing the same type of job. Non-traditional college students are now typical enough that calling them non-traditional is ceasing to be accurate. Returning to school at several junctures has become an expected—albeit expensive—aspect of life in the service economy. People change their minds and their careers. People respond to changing markets and harsh economic times. People piece it all together as they go. To those who grew up in more stable times, this might seem hectic and frightening. It is hectic and frightening, but instability is now status quo.

With all of this being the case, what is a high school junior supposed to say when asked about aspirations? Again, a few young people have strong inclinations about what they want to do. Even these kids might change their minds along the way. The majority of young people have vague notions at best. The pervading lack of clarity among teenagers exacerbates some of the issues described above every bit as much as these issues influence it. Pressing young people to make up their minds might help light the necessary fire under a few of them, but it might make everything worse instead.

This is to the matter’s heart. Perceived problems with a young person’s motivation reflect what can be seen now, but not what might be visible in the future. Parents and teachers can make predictions. Often these predictions have merit. Nearly as often, teenagers have a way of proving their doubters wrong. When young people bloom is strictly case-by-case. Some of them might hit a stride in their twenties. Others might need until their thirties to find their rhythm. A few might start off fast but crash and burn after a few years, possibly needing a few more years to get back up to speed. Furthermore, what constitutes “blooming” must be case by case. For some young people, this will be graduating with honors from a distinguished college and landing a position with some respectable firm. For others, it will be holding down a job at a convenience store while staying clean. Accepting what “blooming” means might be more of an issue for parents and teachers than for the teenagers themselves.

Contemporary expectations might be slightly warped. The notion that everyone must go to college probably has some holes. Certainly, college degrees increase earning potential. They also increase debt potential. At the same time, just because a college will admit someone doesn’t mean that someone stands much of a chance of finishing. Remember, colleges are businesses and so are the organizations that issue loans. Many students sign up, get accepted, but can’t handle the requirements. These same students might thrive in other kinds of programs that focus on trades or nuanced skills. Associate’s or certification programs might cost tens of thousands of dollars less than Bachelor’s programs, they might take less than half the time to complete, and they might yield entry-level positions that pay as much or more than some positions that require Bachelor’s degrees. These jobs might be easier to find, too. Despite what policymakers and corporate education reformers might want Americans to believe, college isn’t for everyone, nor are non-college options somehow less worthwhile than those involving the chase of a degree. That sullen teenager might not want anything to do with college, but might eventually find a viable path through a different kind of program.

Getting started remains an issue. Exactly when a young person should embark on college or any other post-secondary education is of some debate. Some scholars would advocate for a gap year, perhaps several gap years. That sullen teenager might not be ready for college fresh out of high school. The jury seems to be out regarding how much waiting affects the chances of starting (and of greater importance, finishing). As with when young people bloom, when they should start their pursuit of whatever they’re going to do will be case by case. This isn’t a copout answer. It’s a frustrating but important reality.

This can be difficult for parents and teachers to accept, but in most cases, not panicking is key. Late blooming is only late when compared with antiquated standards or contemporary anomalies. A lassie-faire approach to intervening might seem to contribute to the issue of delayed adulthood, but delayed adulthood is part of a larger shift in society and can’t necessarily be stemmed by trying to hasten a teenager’s decision-making. Having a generation that is engaged and contributing is as important as having one whose members find meaning and substance. Teenagers who at present don’t appear ready to take on the world might very well figure out how to do this in their own time. Nothing is abnormal about this today. Fretting over it can create as many problems as it might solve. If young people are going to bloom, they’re most likely to do it in their own time.

Written by Jeff Hartman