The Young and the Stressed: How to Manage Adolescent Anxiety

Anxiety and stress are real; we adults know this all too well. But sometimes, perhaps, we underestimate the effect worry can have on adolescents. But the reality is that young people are often as affected by persistent worry and stress as are older folks. In fact, Time magazine recently ran a cover story titled “Anxiety, Depression and the Modern Adolescent,” and the 2014 Stress in America report* stated that “high stress and ineffective coping mechanisms appear to be ingrained in our culture,” so clearly this is an issue that directly impacts young people, and that we must confront with positive, healthy resources.

Here are some ways to help adolescents manage stress, anxiety and depression:

1. Take It Seriously
Don’t discount teens’ concerns, even if they may sound trivial from your older, wiser vantage point. Things like prom or driving or clothes or friends can trigger marked anxiety in young people. They need others who are willing to listen and validate their concerns. Sometimes a kind word or empathic response is all it takes. Avoid statements like “that’s life” or “welcome to the real world.” In adolescence, the key point is that nurturing and maturing are still happening and expecting a fifteen year-old to have a “thick skin” or to “just get over it” is probably not realistic. You never know if a more serious feeling is at the root of a seemingly small or unimportant issue, so be a good listener and don’t downplay your child’s valid feelings no matter how silly you think they are.

2. Let Them Sleep
Science says that adolescents should get around nine hours of sleep a night, but if you know any, you’ve probably heard them report often getting more like five or six hours once they’ve finished their homework, extracurricular activities, and other daily social and academic obligations. With this cumulative lack of rest can come irritability, anxiety, performance lapses, fatigue, and undue stress. So, contrary to some parents’ beliefs, sleeping in on a Sunday or taking a nap on a day off from school does not equate to laziness. It may, in fact, lead to more focus and less worry. You can also encourage kids to cuff off their electronics before bed, refrain from caffeine late in the day, and avoid stimulating activities too close to bedtime. The negative influences of lack of sleep, such as trouble concentrating, lack of motivation, or missing school, can lead to significant stress.

3. Calm Yourself
If you’re always stressed and angry, honking and yelling at other drivers or talking negatively about people in your office, guess what? Your kids are probably going to pick up on that behavior. Needless to say, these types of coping mechanisms are likely to lead to discipline and respect issues in school or with coaches and authority figures. I’m not saying that every parent and teacher needs to be a Zen master, however, we do need to bear in mind that what we do greatly influences what the young people in our lives do. In fact, psychologists note that “the adolescent years can be some of the most impressionable ones you will ever have with your child,”** so the ways we act during that time can leave lasting impressions. Modeling negative stress reactions and poor coping skills like using substances or having angry outbursts can led to poor coping skills in the adolescent as well as later in his or her life.

4. Teach Coping Skills
As mentioned in the previous bullet, there plenty of negative coping skills out there and, with the statistic that “forty-two percent of teens indicated not doing anything to cope with their stress or not knowing what to do to manage it,”** it is extra important that we offer kids positive ways to navigate stressful times. The “Stress in America” report states that “teens who engaged in physical activity for stress management reported lower stress levels.” Exercise and sports, however, are only one of a multitude of coping mechanisms; others include journaling, listening to or performing music, watching movies, photography, reading, time with friends, and the list goes on. The point is that having a wealth of available coping options can help young people manage stress better.

5. Let There Be Fun
Yes, grades and test scores and athletics and extracurricular activities are important, however, so is allowing for some degree of fun. Without it, young people can become so stressed that they forget to enjoy this time in their lives. Helicopter parents, “parents who are over focused on their children,”^ often create an atmosphere of immense tension, leaving little to no room for alone time, time with friends, or creative expression. Often, it is these parents’ own anxieties that they are projecting onto their kids, making for an overall stressful environment. So, while keeping the important things important, keeping it light is also extremely helpful in reducing stress and worry. According to Dr. Deoborah Gilboa, “remembering to look for opportunities to take one step back from solving our child’s problems will help us build the reliant, self-confident kids we need.”^

A psychology professor once told our class that “stress will take you out.” This is true not only for we stressed-to-the-max adults, but also, for adolescents. Understanding triggers and how to cope with and reduce stress and anxiety can go a long way toward creating a comfortable and manageable life in school and beyond.

*http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/
**https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201408/the-impressionable-years
***https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-race-good-health/201402/5-tips-helping-teens-cope-stress
^http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/

Written by Phil Lane

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